


Paramours

by TheseusInTheMaze



Series: Metamours [2]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Awkward, Dating, F/M, First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Pining, Polyamory, Romance, Swallowing, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-03 23:22:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10977537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: A sequel to my fic "Metamours".Dan and Arin explore their feelings for each other.





	Paramours

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saiq2004](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiq2004/gifts).



> Edited by the lovely Angel! Thank you, babe!

Dan was sitting at the Berhow-Hanson kitchen table, and he was eating dinner.

It was... it was so disgustingly normal.

That was the weirdest part about the whole poly arrangement that he had going on.

It didn't feel like an arrangement.

It didn't feel like he was doing anything weird or out of the ordinary - he went to work, he recorded Grump episodes, he recorded songs, he wrote songs, and he hung out with Arin and Suzy.

Okay, so some of the hanging out had involved him cuddling both of them, which wasn't exactly... orthodox, as it were, but it still felt _normal_.

Fuck it, he'd kissed Arin (and caught his death plague), and he was actually starting to get used to it.

For a given value of "get used to".

The whole mustache thing was still a bit of a surprise. 

But it was Arin.

It was hanging out with Arin, making bad jokes, and yeah, they kissed, but they also talked about the deeper meanings of life, and how flatulent Arin was. 

"I'm going to bed early," Suzy said, and she yawned. 

She'd been up early.

"Aw, Scuze," said Dan, and he put on a pout. "I was hoping for some sweet makeouts."

"You can still have them," Suzy said, and she stood up, yawning. "You boys okay for dishes?"

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart. Go sleep."

Suzy was still fighting off the cold that had knocked Arin, then Dan out. 

She'd survived it better than they had, but she was still a bit of a zombie. 

"You need anything, Scuze?" 

"Nah," said Suzy, and she made her way towards the bedroom, the cats following after her.

Dan glanced over at Arin, and he smiled, suddenly shy.

"You, uh, you don't have to... to make out with me, if you don't want to," he told Arin. "If you’re... you know, if you're not up for kissing or whatever, that's totally cool." Dan rubbed his hands together, trying not to be too obvious about his nervous fidgeting. 

"I'd like to kiss you," said Arin, slowly, carefully. "A lot, actually."

"A lot of kissing, or a lot of wanting?" Dan tried to make a joke out of it. 

"Preferably, both," said Arin.

Oh.

Shit.

Dan blushed, looked down, and then he peeked up at Arin, who looked nervous. 

"I could totally go for that," Dan said. "Both, I mean. If you'd like to. Because I'd like to. A lot."

"You sure you don't want to just see how I taste different from Suzy?" Arin's voice was teasing. 

"I won't _ever_ involve you with anything to do with me and Suzy," Dan said, his voice dead serious, because sometimes you need to make certain things very clear. 

"I know that," Arin said. "I was teasing."

"Okay," said Dan, and he licked his lips. "I'm sorry. I just... I wanna make sure it's clear, you know?"

"Yeah," said Arin. "I get ya."

"So. Shall we retire to the couch?" 

"We should wash the dishes first," said Arin, indicating the sink.

"I'll do it," said Dan.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Dan looked down. "I actually kinda like washing dishes."

"Yeah?"

"Gets me all zen."

"Oh. That makes sense."

"You're repeating yourself a lot," Dan said, and he tried to keep his voice zen.

"Am I?"

"Well, you're answering all of my comments with questions." Dan leaned back into his seat.

"Is that, like a rude thing?" 

"It seems like it's a nervous tell," said Dan. "Are you nervous?"

Was he concerned? Was he flirting? 

Did he even know?

"How can I not be?" Arin made vague hand gestures, as Dan stood up, gathering the plates together and putting them in the sink.

Arin sat at the table.

"I dunno," said Dan, turning the water on and raising his voice so he could be heard above it. "When I was sick, you were pretty damn confident."

"Yeah, but, like, that's different," said Arin.

"I should think it'd be different," said Dan, setting a dish on the drying rack. "I mean, I was super gross at that point, I'd been coughing so hard that I probably tasted like the inside of my lungs -" 

"Thank you for that, Dan," Arin said, and he made a face. "That's gross."

"I'm sorry," Dan said, turning around and crossing his arms, a dish towel over one arm. "The guy who makes nonstop poop jokes is complaining about how gross it is to hear about shit like me having trouble breathing while kissing?"

"When you put it like that, it makes me sound super unreasonable," Arin admitted, and then he laughed. "But I interrupted you. What were you saying?" 

"I was saying, like, you were pretty confident," said Dan, washing another dish. "Now you're all anxious."

"Well, I mean, when I'm blasted on cough syrup, or you're blasted on cough syrup, it's one thing. But we're both in our right mind, so it feels like... I don't even know." 

"Like there might be some kind of consequence?" 

"Yeah, something like that," said Arin, and he laughed, clearly anxious. 

"Well," said Dan, "what's the worst that can happen? You'll fart in front of me, you'll vom around me, I'll realize that you're a very gross human being, as we are all gross human beings..." 

"Okay, okay, I get it," Arin said, and he was laughing as well. "So we know each other pretty well."

"Yeah," said Dan, and he leaned back against the sink. "I don't think you're going to, like, shock me with anything, unless you've got some kind of weird kink, and I mean, even when you've got weird kinks, there's ways to talk about stuff, or even do stuff, even if it's... weird, you know?"

"I guess you're right," Arin said, and he laughed. "Who knew that getting together with a best friend would be so scary, huh?"

"I thought you were best friends with Suzy before you guys got together," said Dan.

"Well, yeah," said Arin, "but that's different. We got together, like... as partners, versus being friends who just kinda slipped into it."

“Yeah,” said Dan. “Although you said you thought I was pretty from the get go.”

“I can neither confirm nor deny this,” said Arin, and he looked down at his hands, blushing.

Dan moved closer, and he put his hands on Arin’s shoulders.

Arin was wearing a tank top, still a bit slick with sweat from walking around outside. 

“Dude,” said Arin, “I mean this in the nicest way possible, because I can totally see that there’s, like, a romantic moment going, but you’ve got the worst dish pan hands, like, ever.”

“Oh my god, Arin,” said Dan, and he was laughing, pressing his forehead into Arin’s shoulder and cackling like he was being tickle tortured. 

"Do you want me to go wake up Suzy and ask her for some of her hand lotion?"

"No, no," said Arin, and he kissed Dan, his lips a little bit chapped, his warm hands resting on Dan's hips.

Dan kissed him back, deeper than their usual slightly awkward kisses.

Maybe they were getting better at it. 

Arin pulled back, and he kissed along Dan's neck, then he pulled back, and he was laughing.

"You've got a neckbeard growing," he told Dan. 

"I'm sorry," Dan said. "Do you want me to, like, shave?"

"Nah," said Arin. 

"Although, uh, if we're gonna be making out, maybe we should do it in the living room." 

"Any particular reason?"

"Well," said Dan, indicating the big window over the sink, which they were standing right in front of, "we are kind of illuminated like some kind of neon sign while making out."

"Neighbors might get the wrong idea," Arin agreed, and he was chuckling.

He had the beginnings of a boner, and Dan could tell, because they were actually that close together.

What the hell?

He was close to feel another guy's dick, and he was... like, super okay with this. 

Dan of three years ago would probably have freaked out.

Dan of right now was kinda turned on by it himself.

Although would it be weird, fucking Arin, when he'd fucked Suzy?

Was this some kind of protracted threesome or something?

"Dan?" 

Arin's voice was tentative.

"What's up?"

"You seem a bit lost in your own head," said Arin.

"I'm sorry," said Dan, and he blushed. "Can I make a weird request?"

"What kind of weird?" Arin looked a bit nervous himself.

"I'm not really sure how to rate stuff on the weirdness scale," Dan said.

"Is this, like, weird new fetish weird, or is this, like... I don't know, some other kind of weird?"

"What other kind of weird?"

"I dunno. That's why I didn't give an example."

"... that would make sense, yeah."

Dan blushed, looking to the side, and Arin was grinning. 

"So what's the weird thing?"

"The first time we have sex, can it be just you and me?"

Dan blushed harder - it was such a... weird thing to ask for, and yet here he was, doing it.

"Who else would be there?" Arin sounded genuinely puzzled.

"You know," Dan said. "Suzy?"

"Well, I mean, yeah, but why would she be there the first time we fucked?"

"I dunno." Dan shrugged, rubbing the back of his own neck. "I mean, like... the three of us are kind of in a triad, or at least a proto-triad -" 

"Someone's been reading the poly books," Arin teased.

"We're in, like, a proto-triad," Dan continued, ignoring the interruption, "but I don't want to just be part of a triad. Like, I'm still dating Suzy, right? And we're... kinda-sorta dating, right?"

"I mean, uh... yeah," said Arin. He bit his lip. "Can we go on a date?"

"What do you mean?" Dan let go of Arin, and began to make his way towards the living room. 

His hands had dried. 

He sat on one side of the couch, and Arin sat in the middle.

Mimi crawled into his lap, and Dan stroked the cat, her fur soft.

"An actual date," said Arin. "Where we go to a restaurant and then maybe we get ice cream or something, maybe we go to a movie or something like that?"

"Oh," said Dan. 

"Like the dates you go on with Suzy," Arin said, and he was blushing. "I mean, not exactly like those dates, obviously, since, you know, I'm not Suzy, and I don't think I'd want to go to the exhibition on stag beetles, but otherwise...."

"Yeah, I get you," said Dan. He smiled, torn between amusement and anxiety. "So, uh, what kind of place would you wanna go for on a date?"

"I dunno," said Arin. "But... can we plan that later?"

He was inching closer to Dan, until their knees were touching.

Dan's knee was tingling where Arin's was pressed against it.

"What would you wanna do now?" 

"I was thinking we could make out like horny teenagers," Arin said, in his most deadpan voice. "Complete with awkward dry humping, maybe some really bad groping?"

"I'd like to think that my groping has improved since I was sixteen," Dan said, indignant.

"Well," said Arin, and now he was actually... _climbing into Dan's lap_! - "there's only one way to find out, huh?" 

"You've, uh, got different... you're set up differently than she was." Dan stared at Arin, licking his lips.

He had a boner.

Not only did he have a boner, Arin was sitting on his boner.

Like, very obviously sitting on his boner. 

"Is that your phone in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" Arin was chuckling, clearly nervous. 

"Nope," said Dan. "That's my engorged penis." 

"... oh my god, Dan," Arin groaned, and he pressed closer, forehead to forehead, until they were breathing each other's breath. "Don't talk about it like that."

"Like what?" 

"Talking about your "engorged penis."" 

Arin made actual air quotes.

"What? You don't usually mind when I talk about my dick," said Dan, as he settled himself on Arin's lap.

Arin's erection was pressed against his butt, and Dan ground against it experimentally.

He'd never had a boner to grind on. 

Well, at least, to grind against his ass. He'd been able to grind his cock against things.

Arin moaned. 

"Your dick isn't what you're talking about," Arin grumbled. "A dick isn't the same as an engorged penis." 

"What's the difference?" Dan rolled his hips, carefully, and now he was grinding against the softness of Arin's stomach. 

"It just... is," said Arin. "When you say it like that, it sounds all... you know, weird."

"What kind of weird?" 

"The kind of weird that makes me feel weird."

"Yeah, but what _kind_ of weird?"

Arin groaned, and he kissed Dan on the mouth, sucking on Dan's lower lip, then kissing along his neck, from his jaw to his ear, then back to his lips.

Dan moaned - Arin was a good kisser. 

Arin was a good kisser, and Dan was melting from the chest to the stomach, all the way down to his very toes. 

It was a bit like kissing Suzy - same intensity, different types of it.

His hands were cupping the back of Arin's head, fingers tangled in Arin's hair. 

Dan tugged on Arin's hair, and Arin moaned. 

Arin's hands were on Dan's shoulders, grabbing handfuls of Dan's shirt, and then he was pulling it, trying to get it up and over Dan's head.

"Dude," Dan mumbled against Arin's lips, "I'm... kind of embarrassed to be, like, half naked. On your couch. When your wife is literally sleeping above us."

"She's not directly above us," Arin said, although he let go of Dan's shirt. 

The hair of his mustache was ticklish against Dan's upper lip.

"She's pretty close to directly above us."

"She's... like, above us and then like six feet to the left," said Arin.

"That's still above us," Dan protested.

"Yeah, but not directly above us."

"Well, okay, yeah, you're right."

"I wanna see your hot bod," said Arin, and his tone was so sincere that Dan started laughing, ugly, hiccuping laughing, because people didn't... talk to him like that. 

At least, beyond the screaming underage fan girls at concerts, which he was good at ignoring at this point. 

"You've seen me topless before," Dan pointed out, but his own hands had left Arin's head, to the hem of his own shirt.

... holy shit, he was actually considering this. 

Oh god.

It wasn't that Dan was body shy, per se - he'd stripped down on stage often enough.

But sitting in someone's lap (which as a novel experience in and of itself) and having someone wanting to take his clothes off... well, that was a bit different.

Which wasn't to say that Suzy didn't like him naked.

But it was different with her.

It was kind of hard to compare his own body to Suzy's, what with the... very obvious differences.

It was a little different with Arin.

"Dan?" Arin's voice had a tinge of concern.

"What's up?"

"You're in your head," said Arin. "I mean, if you don't wanna show any skin, that's fine." Arin laughed, and he looked nervous, but a bit amused with himself in spite of it all. 

"Nah," said Dan. "You've seen me shirtless. How much different is it?"

"Can I... can I touch you?" 

"You are touching me."

"I mean when you take your shirt off," said Arin. 

"I gotta take the shirt off first," said Dan, and he laughed. 

Arin blushed, leaning back to give Dan a bit more room to maneuver.

"Not even gonna lie," Arin said, and he looked legitimately embarrassed, "I've thought of this, like... a lot."

"Yeah? Should I turn it into a whole strip tease routine?" Dan grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it up and off, letting it drop off to the side, on the floor.

This wasn't the first time he'd been topless on this couch - it wasn't even the first time he'd been topless with one of the Berhow-Hansons. 

It was the first time he'd done it with Arin, though, and that made it that much more... heady.

"Hey, Ar?"

"Yeah?" 

Arin was looking Dan up and down, licking his lips, his eyes dark.

"You should take your shirt off too."

"Should I?"

"Totally."

"Any particular reason why?" Arin was smirking.

"It'd only be fair," said Dan, his tone earnest. "I mean, if there's two of us, and one of us is topless, it would balance it out, if both of us weren't wearing shirts."

"Balance it out," Arin said, deadpan. "I didn't know that symmetry was so important to you."

"Oh," said Dan, "totally. Symmetry is the most important thing."

He sounded ridiculous.

Really fucking ridiculous. 

Fuck it.

Arin wasn't complaining. 

"More important than this dick?" Arin rolled his hips, and he pressed his erection against Dan's ass.

Dan rolled his eyes, and he ground against Arin's dick, because how else was he supposed to respond to that.

Arin moaned, and he lifted his arms up, to make it easier for Dan to pull his shirt up and off.

Then they were bare chest to bare chest, and Arin was kissing Dan, and Dan was kissing Arin, the sweat of Arin's chest making them slippery as they rubbed together, Arin grabbing Dan's ass, Dan kissing him harder, lost in the scent and the taste of Arin. 

It was... it was intense, it was the kind of intensity that Dan associated from the early days of romance, when he hadn't ever felt a tit before, when women were strange and terrifying creatures.

Was this because he was with a dude for the first time? Or was it because he was with his best friend?

Was it like this for everyone who experimented with their sexuality?

"Are you freaking out?" Dan blurted out, when they pulled apart, panting like he'd been running a race.

"What?" Arin blinked at him, trying to get his mind in order. Then he frowned. "Shit, are you? Are we moving too fast?"

"No, no," Dan said quickly. "I'm fine. I'm, uh... I'm kind of obviously enjoying this," Dan added, grinding his cock against Arin's stomach.

Arin moaned like he was being paid for it. 

"It's just, uh... it's usually not this... intense. You know?" Dan licked his lips, and he could taste Arin's mint chapstick.

"Yeah," said Arin. He laughed, a bit unsteady. 

"I guess it's 'cause it's all new," said Dan. 

"You're a quick study," said Arin, and he leaned in for another kiss.

Dan kissed him back, his tongue in Arin's mouth, his hands roaming across Arin's bare, sweaty back, then along Arin's chest, grabbing his pecs, then squeezing his nipples.

Arin groaned, his hips stuttering forward, his eyes squeezing shut, his breath beginning to come in desperate pants.

"Fuck," Arin said thickly.

"Shit," said Dan. "You weren't kidding about your nipples being sensitive, huh?" He pressed down on them experimentally, and Arin's cock twitched against Dan's ass, his hips rolling forward.

"Why would I k-kid about that?" Arin's hands were still on Dan's hips, and he was squeezing them. "Anyway, you lied about fucking a cantaloupe."

"There's a _difference_ ," Dan protested. 

"What is it? Oh!" 

Dan was tired of this silly pseudo argument, especially because he knew that Arin was just gabbling to hide his own embarrassment. 

So he leaned forward, his neck at an awkward angle, and he took Arin's nipple in his mouth, sucking on it, flickering his tongue along the tip of it, then toothing it gently, just enough that it would make Arin spasm under him. 

Arin’s hands were on his head now, and he was licking, sucking, moving from one nipple to the other, until the both of them were pink and swollen. 

So were Arin’s lips, from kissing, from his own biting them. 

“Fuck,” Arin mumbled, and his hands were still in Dan’s hair, twisting the dry curls around and around his fingers. “Dude.”

“Dude?” Dan rested his chin on Arin’s shoulder, and Arin made a noise, trying to squirm. 

“How the hell are you so pointy?” Arin shrugged his shoulder, but Dan stayed on. 

“What do you mean, pointy?”

“I mean pointy.”

“You mean bony?”

“Well, okay, technically, I mean bony,” said Arin, and he snickered, kissing along Dan’s neck. 

His lips were soft and warm, his breath was hot, and his hands were pulling at Dan’s hair. 

Everything was hot, everything was intense, it was all… it was all… it was….

“Arin?”

“Mmm?” Arin was still humping Dan’s ass.

“Arin, I need some air,” Dan said.

Arin pulled back, and he was breathing heavily.

“Are you alright? Are we moving too fast?” 

Arin looked genuinely stricken.

… oh shit.

“No, no,” Dan said quickly. “I mean, like… this is the first time we’re being, like, intimate, and I want to be… careful, so we don’t rush or if something goes wrong it doesn’t, like, ruin the relationship.”

“I know where you’re coming from,” Arin said carefully, “but I’m not too worried about you doing something to ruin it.” He was very red in the face, and his hair was sticking to his face with sweat. 

“Yeah?” 

“I mean,” Arin said, “we’ve done a lot of shit together. Not even physical shit, just… doing shit. And nothing you’ve ever done could ever really fuck me over.” 

Arin was looking at him with the kind of intense sincerity that is frankly, embarrassing for all parties involved, and Dan blushed, looking to the side.

Arin’s voice was rough, but continued on, stubborn as ever.

“I know… I know I’m being awkward,” Arin said, and he cleared his throat. “But, like, we’re… we’re friends. We’re more than friends. You’ve puked in front of me, I’ve been even more gross than you’ve been, so it’s not like I can out gross you. And I can’t out weird you either, unless I ended up telling you that I was into cake farts or something -”

“ _Are_ you into cake farts? How does that even work?” 

“We did watch the video,” Arin pointed out.

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t explain it.”

“... you do know I’m not into cake farts, right?”

“I mean, I know I’m not into them, but I feel like we’ve gotten a bit sidetracked,” said Dan. 

“You’re right,” said Arin. “Okay. So. What I’m saying is, that… if you want to take it slow? We can take it slow. If you want to just… fuck, right here and now, that’d also be pretty cool.” 

He paused.

“Actually, uh, I’d have to take a shit first, unless you wanted me to stick it in you, which is fine, but maybe you could, uh….”

“I don’t want to just jump into things,” said Dan. “I mean, physically. I like physical stuff, don’t get me wrong, I love physical stuff, but I wanna get it… right. I gotta do some research, I wanna… not get lost in the heat of the moment.” Dan laughed, embarrassed and flustered and a bunch of other adjectives that denote a red face, pounding heart, weak knees. 

“What do you mean?”

“Like….” Dan sighed, covering his face with both hands. “I’m fucking this up, aren’t I?” 

“I had all these… big ideas, for what I wanted my first time to be like. I guess, what I thought my first time, period, would be. But now I’m finding out I have an option for another first time. And it doesn’t even have to be, like, some kind of special rose petals and shit, just… I don’t wanna do a frenzied make out sesh on your couch be where I give my first blow job or take it up the butt or whatever.” 

“You’d take it up the butt from me?” Arin looked embarrassed. 

“I already told you,” Dan mumbled. “I’d totally let you do me up the butt. Just… not yet.”

“I understand,” said Arin, and he laughed, self conscious. “You done for the night?”

“I think I’m gonna, like, jerk off and sleep,” said Dan.

“You sure that you don’t want some help with that?” Arin’s expression was timid, but horny.

“... next time. Next date, I mean.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, unless you aren’t in the mood or whatever,” Arin said quickly.

Dan laughed, and he stood up, stretching, his arms behind his head. 

His back cracked, and his toes curled. 

He was aware of Arin staring at him, eyes running up and down the length of him, and there was something wonderful about that - about being something beautiful to be looked at. 

Something beautiful to be looked at, who didn’t expect him to act a certain way, or to be anything but himself. 

“I’m gonna go home now,” said Dan.

“Gonna get that jerking off in?”

“Yep!” 

“.. can I kiss you?” 

Arin looked nervous, and Dan frowned. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Arin said, and he sighed. “... is it wrong I’m feeling kinda rejected?”

“Nah,” said Dan. “I’m not rejecting you. I promise.”

“I know that logically,” said Arin, and he made a face, “but my brain is just being a jerk.”

“Anything I can do to help?” 

“Nah,” said Arin. “Don’t want you to do shit you’re not comfortable with.”

“Thanks,” said Dan, and he kissed Arin on the mouth, gently, softly, because he could, sliding his socks on. “You gonna be okay?”

“We can both have JO sessions,” said Arin. 

Dan snickered.

“You could wake up Suzy,’ he suggested. 

“Nah,” said Arin. “She gets grumpy about me waking her up unless I’m offering her full on cunniilingus.” He paused. “Not a bad idea, actually.”

“There are worse places to be then between a pair of soft thighs,” Dan said, and in his mind’s eye, he could see himself between Arin’s thighs. 

Arin grinned.

“True that,” he said, and then he yawned. “Text me?” 

“Of course,” said Dan, and he kissed Arin again.

He kissed him rather a lot, honestly, full on mouth kissing, wrapping himself around Arin’s body like some kind of friendly octopus. 

When they pulled apart, there was a line of spit from his mouth to Arin’s, and he was panting harder, his cock leaving a wet spot in his jeans.

“Text me when you get home,” Arin said, and he wiped his mouth, wiping his lips on the back of his hand, then opening the door.

“I will,” said Dan, and he pecked Arin on the mouth, making his way back to his car on slightly unsteady legs.

It was like being drunk, or like being in love again.

… shit. 

Was he ready to be in love?

Was this even new love? He’d been in some flavor of love with Arin since who even knew when, so was this really that different?

Maybe he was overthinking things.

Dan groaned, climbing into his car and pressing his face into his hands. 

He saw the living room light turn off, and then the light by the bathroom turn on.

Arin was heading to bed.

Some little part of Dan wanted to be up there with Arin, with Suzy - with the both of them.

He wanted to wrap himself around the two of them and hold them.

He kind of wanted to be balls deep in… someone, he wasn’t even picky about who it was, but he wanted his dick someplace hot and wet.

When he was this horny, he didn’t make good decisions.

With a grumble, he pulled out of the driveway, and made his way home. 

He got a text message when he as stopped at a red light.

_holy shit, that was amazing_

_Good orgasm?_

_fucking amazing_

_Can I see?_

… where the fuck had that come from?

The light turned green before he had a chance to check, so he was back to driving. 

He didn’t get a chance to check his phone until he was pulling into his own parking spot. He opened up the picture message with nervous hands, and... oh my. 

That was a lot of cum.

_Dude, when was the last time you got off?_

_It’s been a few days. I’ve been busy_

It was funny, how Arin seemed to gain his ability to use capitalization again when he lost his raging hard on. 

_Too busy to jerk off? You’ve got fucked up priorities, man_

_Well, me and my fucked up priorities are going to bed_

Dan took a deep breath, then typed his message out before he could lose his nerve.

_You wanna see Excalibur?_

_Fucking always, man_

_You want, like, a full on cum shot?_

_Whatever you’re comfortable with_

_You’re the best, big cat_

_I do my best_

By now, he was inside. He flopped down onto his couch, leaning back into the cushions of the couch, and he shoved his pants down around his thighs, taking his boxers with it. 

He grabbed his cock around the base, taking out his phone, then leaned over to turn the side table lamp on, to make his dick look a bit less like some kind of monster rising out of the abyssal planes.

* * * 

He took a few pictures of Excalibur, at a few different angles, and then he hit “send”.

He was going to have such a jerk off session. 

Holy shit.

He licked his palm, then wrapped it around the head of his cock, beginning to stroke.

He closed his eyes, tossing his head back, resting it against the back of the couch. 

The pleasure coursed through him, familiar as his own name, but alien at the same time, It was always new, in certain ways, and he humped up into his hand, his toes curling, his breath coming in desperate little pants as he began to move along his shaft, spreading his pre-cum along it, then lower, to fondle his balls.

What would Arin be like, if he was doing this?

Why had he turned Arin down in the first place?

… urgh.

Dan glared down at his dick as it twitched, trying to get it to at least behave with his brain in some fashion.

It ignored him, the way it always did.

Why did he have to have such stupid hang ups when it came to sex?

But fuck it. 

He did what he needed to do, and Arin wasn’t pissed at him, and the next time they did… something, they’d… well, do something.

With a groan, he went back to pumping his cock, beginning to hump his hand, breathing harder, aware that his face was turning pink, aware that his skin was starting to break out in goosebumps, rolling along his skin like so many waves.

Imagine kissing Arin, like he had been. 

Imagine being between Suzy and Arin, on that same couch, since he was in the realm of his fantasies, and he doubted that Arin would be pissed at him for fantasizing about Suzy. 

Especially considering he was already fucking Suzy.

And then Arin was in his lap, and then it was Suzy - he didn’t know which one of them it was, it just flickered as he kept humping up into his hand, as he got closer and closer, already so primed to cum that he was going to explode, as he pumped harder, letting out little cries.

Sometimes the eyes staring into his own were light, sometimes they were brown, and sometimes there were soft, full breasts, versus Arin’s more muscled chest.

But the eyes staring into his own wanted him, and the hot wetness clenching around him was… well, it was very much appreciated, and he came into his hand, his thighs like marble, his calves like bow strings. 

He snapped a quick picture of his hand, because he could, and then he wiped it off on his hand and covered his face with both hands, trying to catch his breath.

Fuck.

That had been… intense.

It wasn’t even a new fantasy - he’d cycled that one through his head a few times.

But now he knew what it felt like to kiss Arin.

Maybe next time he’d have Arin in his lap. 

Yeah, he liked that idea. 

He’d have to tell it to Arin. 

Later. 

He sent Arin a picture of his cum covered hand, and then he made his way towards the bathroom, to wash his hands, his face, to brush his teeth. 

* * * 

He woke up to a series of _very_ excited text messages, and another cumshot.

This time across Suzy’s tits. 

Which led to Dan sending them another cum shot.

It ended up a bit of a mobius strip of dirty pictures, until Dan had to go into work. 

Not a bad way to spend a morning, though. 

* * * 

 

Three days later, they were on the Grump couch, and Arin was ranting so hard that he was turning red, spit flying out of his mouth. 

“Who the _fuck_ thought it would be a good idea to put the fucking save point there? Who in their right fucking mind thinks “hey, I’m about to have zombies rip me from my taint to my nose, I wanna stand here for ten fucking seconds!” because I wanna meet them and kick them so hard in the chode that they can sing soprano!”

“But Arin,” Dan said, between whoops of laughter, “tell us how you really feel!” 

“Listen man, I have had to watch that fucking animation at least six times,” Arin bellowed. “We fucking… we’re gonna cut that, Matt, Ryan, whoever the fuck edits this, cut out all the times I failed, although who even _knows_ how many fucking times I’ve failed, because I’m gonna keep failing. I’m gonna be an old man in Depends and I’m gonna still be getting my taint ripped out of my goddamn nose!”

“I thought you were being ripped from your taint _to_ your nose,” Dan pointed out. 

“Shut up with your being reasonable,” Arin snapped, and then his face softened. “Oh, fuck, no, sorry, dude, I am so sorry.”

“Next time on Game Grumps,” Dan said into his mic, still giggling, “Arin totally makes it up to me for being so snappy.”

“I’m gonna give him a blowjob,” Arin said, dead serious, and Dan laughed even harder, until his face was even redder, as Arin turned off the recording equipment. 

“Sorry, man,” said Arin. “That was dickish of me to just snap at you like that.”

“Arin, dude, it’s fine,” Dan said, trying to keep his tone reasonable, and to stop giggling. He put a hand on Arin’s thigh, patting it. 

His hand was warm, and Arin’s thigh was warm through thin basketball shorts, and Arin was blushing now. 

“Still,” said Arin, “I feel like a jerk.”

“So kiss me and make it better,” said Dan, in a burst of bravado that came from who knew where.

“What, here? Now?” Arin glanced around, giggling nervously. 

It was… well, it was past “normal business hours”, but people could theoretically walk in.

Nobody would really care. 

Several people probably suspected.

“Is there anyone here?”

“I think Barry is doing something for his own show, and Ross is walled off in his office.”

Dan licked his lips. 

“So are you gonna kiss me?” Dan waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“When ya put it that way, I guess I have to,” Arin said, shoving his mic, then Dan’s mic out of the way.

And then he kissed Dan.

It didn’t feel like it should have been an “and then”, because it was… it was so much more.

It was familiar already, and Dan could pick out Suzy’s kissing techniques, but he could also pick out Arin’s own technique, and Arin’s own teeth, as the two of them pressed closer, Arin’s tongue sliding into his mouth like a thief in the night, and then his own tongue was brushing against Arin’s, tracing the shape of Arin’s teeth, the softness of his cheeks. 

When they pulled apart, they were both panting.

“So, uh… you mentioned a blowjob,” Dan said, keeping his voice calm, chill.

Arin raised an eyebrow. 

“What happened to wanting physical stuff to be special?” He paused. “I mean, uh, not that I’m saying “no” or anything, just that, uh… this seems like a bit of a turn around.”

“It’s totally special here,” Dan protested. “This is where we spend the most time together, how is that not special?”

“... you sap, you,” said Arin, but he was grinning, delighted, his face turning pink. “So you want me to blow you?”

“I mean, if you want to blow me,” said Dan. “If you don’t want to, that’s totally okay.” 

“I’d love to,” said Arin, and he grinned, wicked. “You know how many times I’ve gotten off to fantasizing about putting Excalibur in my mouth?”

“What, really?” Dan looked surprised. “You… want to suck dick? Like, not in terms of a thing you’d do for a friend, just in terms of, like… a thing you _want_ to do?” 

“You haven’t?” Arin got on his knees in front of Dan, resting his elbows on Dan’s thighs. 

“Well, I mean….” Dan made a thinking face. “I’m kinda… like, the idea of kissing a guy being a thing that I _do_ is really new, so I guess my brain has just been easing into it.”

“You don’t have to, like, blow me, if you don’t want to,” Arin said, although there was something… vulnerable on his face. “I’d be happy just getting to wrap my lips around your thick, juicy man meat.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to,” Dan said, and he tried not to sound defensive. “Just that I haven’t given it too much thought. I’m sure once I actually, like, put my mind to it, I’ll be totally into it.” 

“I don’t want you to have to talk yourself into it,” Arin said.

“I’m not talking myself into it,” Dan said. “I’d never thought of playing video games professionally, and now look where I am!” 

“... fair enough,” Arin said, and he grinned, crooked. “I’m sorry I’m so… neurotic about all of this. I just don’t wanna fuck it up.”

“Hey man,” said Dan, “worst case scenario, it doesn’t work, and we can joke about that time we tried to be gay for each other in, like, five years.”

“You think?” 

“I know.”

“... wouldn’t it be us being bisexual for each other? Since we’re both screwing Suzy?”

Dan groaned, covering his face with both hands.

“Arin? Please just suck my cock.”

Arin snorted, and he leaned forward, unzipping Dan’s pants, then grabbing Dan’s cock through his boxers.

Dan was about half hard, although he was already starting to swell under Arin’s fingers. 

Arin took Dan’s cock in his mouth, and he sucked on the head, wrapping his lips around the ridge, swirling his tongue over the slit.

… holy fuck.

Dan wrapped his fingers in Arin’s hair, tugging on it, and he moaned, slumping back against the couch, trying not to pull too hard, his hips rocking forward. 

“Jesus, dude, when did you… oh, _fuck_ , Ar, when did… oh….”

Dan gave up on trying to talk, as Arin took more cock down his throat, still sucking, bobbing his head, and his hand was on Dan’s balls, then lower, to press down on his taint, which was doing interesting things to the pit of Dan’s stomach, and his teeth were very gently scraping along the underside of Dan’s cock, catching on the ridge of the head, and that felt… it was too good, it shouldn’t have been that good.

“Suzy likes when I suck off her strap on,” Arin said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “And she likes it, like, a lot, so I got pretty good.”

“Holy fuck, man,” Dan groaned, as Arin went back down. “You’re… amazing. Dude, you ever… you ever wanna, like, quit doing whatever else you’re doing, s-s-suck dick professionally, holy shit, you could totally… totally….”

His words died down, as Arin deep throated him, and then Dan’s eyes were rolling back in his head, his mouth falling open. 

Arin was too good at this, and the noises coming out of his mouth were so _filthy_ , wet, slurping, like something out of a certain class of porn that Dan would never admit to enjoying. 

Arin came off of Dan’s cock, taking a deep breath, and then he was sucking on the head again, slurping along the length, letting the head slide into his cheek.

Dan lost himself in it - in the way Arin’s big brown eyes were staring into his own, in the sensation of Arin’s mouth around his cock, in the suction, the heat, the wetness, until he was riding on the very edge of it, as close to cumming as you can get without cumming, holding on to Arin’s hair hard enough that it was starting to dig into his fingers, but who even gave a fuck, when he was this close, when his toes were curling and his eyes were squeezing shut, when he was panting like a dog and shaking like a beast. 

“Ar, I’m gonna… fuck, Arin, I’m… if you don’t… I’m gonna cum in your mouth,” Dan panted, and he tugged on Arin’s hair for emphasis.

Arin smirked, coming off of Dan’s cock and kissing along the shaft, gently. 

“It’s in my mouth,” Arin said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Of course I can tell when you’re about to cum. You’re getting all hot and swelling up.”

“... oh,” said Dan, and he blushed. 

“So? You gonna cum in my mouth?”

A nice, long lick along the underside, all the way to Dan’s balls. 

Dan gasped, and then Arin was _taking Dan’s balls into his mouth_ , and how the fuck was that a thing that was happening, holy shit, that was… that was the kind of intensity that was almost too much, as Arin went back to licking along the underside of Dan’s cock, sucking on that one spot under the head, then moving to taking the whole of it into his mouth again. 

Dan didn’t stand a fucking chance, and he came straight into Arin’s mouth, his legs shaking and his knees weak, his head thrown back. 

The pleasure coursed through him, leaving him like a puppet with its strings cut, as the muscles of his abdomen flexed, and the sweet throbbing took over his groin, leaving him immobile, then letting him go. 

“F-f-fuck,” Dan stuttered, and he shook harder, still clutching at Arin’s hair. “Holy fuck. Oh my god.”

Arin looked up at him, and he made a big show of swallowing it.

Then he made a face.

“That’s fucking gross,” he confessed.

“You didn’t have to swallow it,” Dan pointed out, and he laughed, nudging at Arin’s thigh with his own foot. “C’mere.”

“What else was I gonna do with it?” Arin grabbed between his own legs, squeezing his erection and moaning like he was being paid for it.

… show off.

“I dunno. Spit it out?” 

“Where?”

“On the floor. We don’t have carpet or anything.”

Arin snorted.

“C’mere,” Dan said again, and he prodded Arin again, a bit harder.

“What do you want, dude?”

“I wanna kiss you,” Dan said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“It’s gonna taste like jizz,” Arin warned him. 

“I know,” Dan said. “I can live with a little bit of snowballing.”

“Look at you, mister fancy pants knowing words,” said Arin, but he was chuckling in spite of himself. 

He climbed back onto the couch, and he lay back, his head on the arm.

Dan crawled on top of him, and Arin’s shirt was sweaty, Arin’s skin was like a furnace, and Arin’s face was red, as Dan kissed him, chest to chest.

It was just _so_ different from kissing a woman, what with Arin’s mustache, and the sheer bulk of him.

But here was Arin, and he was infinitely kissable, even if his breath smelled like jizz, and he made hot noises when Dan kissed along his neck, when Dan shoved hands up his shirt.

Arin actually covered his own mouth with both hands to keep from making any more noise, panting like a dog.

Dan could feel those moans, vibrating through Arin’s chest, and they got deeper, enough that they must have been rattling Arin’s teeth, and Arin was humping against Dan’s thigh, which was pressed between his own. 

“Fuck,” Arin gasped out. “I’m s-s-sorry, I’m kinda… I’m really keyed up. Like, super on edge.”

“I can tell,” Dan said, and he tried for a throaty, sexy chuckle.

It came out more like he was trying to clear his throat, but hey, it’s the thought that counts, right?

Arin was still moaning, as Dan kissed down, pressing his face into the softness of Arin’s belly, then lower, nuzzling at the bulge of Arin’s erection.

“I’m gonna suck your dick,” he told Arin. “If you want me to, I mean,” he added, as an afterthought. 

“Are you sure?” Arin’s face was a mix of hope and anxiety. “I don’t want you to feel like you _have_ to, if you really don’t want to.”

“I do,” Dan said, with more confidence than he felt.

He did.

He was just… well, he didn’t have a lot of experience. 

Or any.

He’d received blowjobs though, right?

How hard could it be?

* * * 

Pretty hard, it turned out. 

Not as hard as Arin’s dick was, though.

It throbbed in the cooler air, and that made no sense, because Dan knew that he’d cum a few times in the past few days.

“What’s got you so worked up?” Dan scooted closer, flat on his belly between Arin’s legs, his feet dangling off of the edge of the couch.

“The totally hot guy who I’ve had a crush on for ages is suddenly not only into letting me suck him off, but is about to put that glorious mouth of his on my own dick,” said Arin.

He sounded on the edge of hysterical, and Dan paused.

“You okay, dude?” 

Arin looked down the line of his own body at Dan, and he grinned. 

He still looked a bit shaky.

“Sorry,” said Arin, and he laughed. “It’s… unsettling, when you’ve been planning something for so long, you, know?” 

“Yeah,” said Dan. “You worried I’m not gonna be as good as you thought I was gonna be?”

“I _know_ you’re not gonna be as I fantasized about,” said Arin. 

Dan raised an eyebrow, insulted. 

A challenge, was it.

“I mean, you said yourself, you have no experience sucking cock, and nobody just, like, gets good at it out of n-nowhere…”

Arin moaned, as Dan took the head of his cock in. 

It was thicker than Dan had expected, and it was hotter. 

Which was stupid - the thing was full of blood, of course it would be hot! 

But it was hot against Dan’s tongue, and Arin was trembling, clearly trying not to thrust up, as his thighs went hard against Dan’s sides, and his heel dug into Dan’s calf. 

Dan liked that reaction.

He was gonna try to get it again.

He bobbed his head, taking a bit more with him as he went down, and he tried not to gag as the head pressed against his soft palate. 

It was… it was a strange texture.

He’d had his own penis in his hand, and that hadn’t felt odd, but this… it was strange. Soft and pliable, but also very, very stiff.

Not like a limb, with its baseline of bone, but also not like something soft and muscled. 

“Penises are fucking weird,” Dan said, pulling off of Arin’s cock to lick along the shaft, one hand holding it in place.

“Mmm?” Arin, up on his elbows, looked down the line of his body at Dan. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” said Dan, and then he was sucking on it again, letting his lower jaw drop down, which brought on more drool, which seemed to make things slicker. He closed his lips experimentally, sucking, and Arin _writhed_ under him, gasping and shifting his hips, forcing more dick down Dan’s throat.

It really was a good thing they were at this angle, or else Dan might have gagged.

As it was, he coughed, pulled off of Arin’s dick, then gamely went back to sucking and bobbing his head, keeping it wet, slurping and moaning around the flesh in his mouth.

Arin moaned back, and the two of them were rocking together, Dan’s hand pumping Arin’s cock, his other hand holding on to Arin’s hip.

Arin’s hand covered his hand, and Dan turned his over, so that they were holding hands on Arin’s hip, still bobbing his head, still sucking, and then Arin was arching his back and clutching harder. 

“Dude,” Arin said, his voice choked off, “I am gonna cum in, like, a minute.”

Dan pulled off, then came back up for air, and he grinned.

“Do it,” he told Arin.

“In your mouth?”

“Sure,” said Dan, because fuck it, he was going to try new things today. 

He’d tasted his own cum, how different could it be?

He found out pretty fast, because Arin swelled up in his mouth, and then Arin was cumming in his mouth, and okay, no, that was… that was gross.

Dan swallowed it down, with difficulty, trying not to cough or wrinkle his nose, but apparently his face said whatever it was he was trying not to, because Arin burst out laughing.

“Have you ever seen a baby that’s eaten a lemon?” 

“Mmm?”

“That’s kind of the face that you’re pulling right now.”

“Sorry, man,” said Dan, making a face. “Your jizz is… bitter.”

“It’s ‘cause I’m so sweet,” Arin said, clearly basking in the afterglow. “All the bitterness needs to go _somewhere_.”

“Oh my god, Arin,” Dan groaned, and he crawled up to kiss the other man on the mouth, sweet and soft.

Arin was still chuckling.

* * * 

They left the Grump room about an hour later, their day finished.

They were going to have a nice date with Suzy. 

Which was a new and exciting development, but fuck it, why not do the three way dating, when they were already kinda were?

She kissed each of them, and then she made a face.

“Did you guys blow each other?”

“W-what?” Dan turned red, and Arin was grinning. 

“Your breath tastes like jizz,” said Suzy, her expression thoughtful.

“Why are you so well acquainted with what jizz tastes like?” Dan wriggled his eyebrows.

Suzy gave him a Look.

He wilted.

“So there might’ve been some hot blowies,” Dan allowed.

“Well,” said Suzy, “good to know you guys are going along well!” She stuck a hand in Dan’s back pocket and Arin’s waistband, and began to lead them towards the door.

Dan shot Arin a question mark of a look.

Arin shrugged and grinned. 

It was Suzy.

You didn’t argue with her. 

You just went along with it, so you weren’t dragged.

* * *

"Does this count as a double date?" Dan sat at the table, his elbows on the table, his chin in his palms.

"... how would it be a double date, if we're all on a date with each other?" Suzy raised an eyebrow.

They were sitting at a circular table, small enough that everyone's knee was pressed against someone else's.

Admittedly, two of the people there were more than six feet tall, but still.

"I dunno," said Dan, defensive. "What's the term for "we're all on a date with each other?" 

"I don't think there is one," said Arin. "Although since all parties are dating other parties, we're all one date."

"The date singularity?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry I didn't take you out first, Ar," said Dan, and he was.

Arin shrugged, and he grinned like a Jack o'lantern. 

"Oh no," Arin said, his voice deadpan. "I have to go to dinner with my wife and my hot boyfriend."

Then he looked stricken.

"Shit. Should I have not said the "b" word?" 

Dan quelled his own panic, carefully, looking at Suzy, looking at Arin.

"I mean," Dan said carefully, "I spend all my time with you when I'm not with her, and, um, well, I know what your jizz tastes like. That at least puts us above "friends" status."

Suzy snickered.

"You two are cute when you're trying to get over your gay panic," she told them, taking each of their hands in her own.

"Who's got gay panic? I don't have gay panic!" 

Arin looked downright... offended.

"I don't either," Dan said. 

... did he?

He'd had a dick in his mouth. 

It wasn't some big life changing event like he had thought it would be. It was just a thing that he had done, and a thing that he'd do again.

Maybe he'd jack off, remembering the way Arin sounded as he came. 

... yeah, he was past the "gay panic" stage. 

Dan stood up, leaning over the whole of the table (the lapel of his leather jacket nearly dipping in Suzy's hot chocolate), and he kissed Arin full on the mouth, the kind of kissing that you can show on television before nine o'clock, but you wouldn't want to do in front of your mother.

Arin blinked up at Dan, and he was smiling, goofy.

"Holy shit," he said.

"I'm not gay panicking," Dan told Suzy, sitting back down and nearly sticking his elbow in a glass of water.

Suzy snorted, and gave him a peck on the mouth, then leaned over to give Arin one.

"So now that we've scandalized the whole place," Dan said dryly, "you think they'll bring me my pancakes?"

"We haven't scandalized the whole place," said Suzy, leaning back into her chair. "Nobody is around, and even if they were... c'mon. It's LA. We're known for being a bunch of weirdo hedonists."

Dan snorted, but he was grinning, squeezing Suzy's fingers.

* * * 

The pancakes came out, and they were exactly what Dan wanted - nay, what he _needed_ , from the very bottom of his soul.

They were sweet, with chocolate chips dotted throughout, and he smeared them with butter, adding enough syrup that the pancakes became oversaturated, until there was enough sugar that he was probably going to be buzzing like a hummingbird.

He took a bite, and his eyes nearly rolled back into his head. 

He almost moaned, until he caught sight of Suzy and Arin.

"... what?"

"Dude," said Arin, and he looked somewhere between amazed and disgusted, "you're making the same noises you make when my mouth is on your dick."

"He makes those when anything is on his dick," said Suzy, in a matter of fact tone.

She was squirming, pressing her thighs together like a horny schoolgirl. 

"... sorry?"

"I'm gonna get a Pavlovian response to pancakes," Arin grumbled as he lifted his burger up, taking a bite out of it and chewing. "I'm gonna get a boner whenever I see pancakes."

"There are worse things to get a boner from," Dan pointed out, taking a bite of his pancakes and resisting the urge to roll his eyes and moan in pleasure. 

"Yeah?"

"I had a buddy who was watching one of those horrible movies, you know, the video nasties?" 

Arin nodded.

"So he got high with his girlfriend, right, and they were watching this horrible movie, and then she got horny for... whatever reason, probably because she was a bit weird, and she started to rub his dick, and he ended up fucking her while some people were burning alive, and then the sound of fire gave him a boner."

"... what?" Suzy stared at Dan, her forkful of chicken halfway to her mouth.

"Where do you _meet_ these people?!" Arin looked genuinely horrified.

"New Jersey is a weird place, man," said Dan, "especially when all your friends are stoners."

"That's... gross," said Arin, and he put his plate down, wrinkling his nose. "Urgh."

"Sorry," said Dan, and he was. "I've got a funnier story, if you wanna hear it?"

"Does it involve any more video nasties?"

"I've seen that movie," Suzy added. "Is it the one with the girl and the -" 

"Spike, yes," Dan said quickly. "Can we talk about something else maybe?"

Suzy snorted.

"You guys are such wusses," she said, her tone affectionate.

"I'm sorry," Dan said, his tone deadpan. "We can't all be Vampira."

"Oo, Vampira? That's a new one." She preened.

Arin snorted, but he looked less green around the gills, and he picked his burger up again. 

"So tell us this funny story," said Suzy.

"Well," said Dan, "this one time, when I was like, fifteen, I was going out with my friends, right, and we thought that we were all the baddest of asses...."

* * * 

They left the diner full - Dan was full enough that he never wanted to see any more food, ever. 

Arin seemed pretty content, although he would belch every now and then. 

"Okay boys," said Suzy, as they all climbed into Dan's car, "what's the plan?"

"What do you mean?" Arin glanced at her sidelong, from his spot in the back seat.

"If you wanna do the fun sexy thing, I'm not gonna go home and change into my pajamas," said Suzy, "but I want the heads up now, because otherwise I'm gonna take off my makeup and get _comfortable_."

"I mean," Dan said, clearing his throat, "I'd want you to be comfortable regardless of whether we were going to fuck or not."

"Well, yes," said Suzy, and she looked a little embarrassed. "But if it's the first time we're all messing around together, I want to look nice for you."

She'd just reapplied her lipstick. 

"Scuze," said Dan, reaching over to take her hand in his, "you _always_ look good to me."

"Seriously," said Arin. 

Suzy snorted, rolling her eyes. 

"You're both a pair of cheese balls," she told them.

"Well, yeah, but you knew that from the get go," said Dan.

"I... wouldn't be opposed to some threesome action," Arin said, and he was blushing a bit. "It's not like this is, like, my biggest fantasy ever or something."

“What, your _biggest_ fantasy?” 

Dan was surprised.

“My hot boyfriend and my hot wife,” Arin said, deadpan.

“... fair enough,” Dan said, laughing nervously. “But, uh, we said we didn’t want our first sexual encounter to be with a threesome?”

“We’ve already had our first sexual encounter,” Arin pointed out. 

“... well, okay, yes,” said Dan. “Okay.”

“Are you okay?” Suzy put a small hand on Dan’s arm. “If you’re not okay, that’s… you’re allowed to be not okay.”

“I’ll be okay,” said Dan, and he laughed. “I’m probably over thinking shit.”

“You do that a lot,” Suzy agreed. “So you in?”

“Not as in as I’m gonna be,” Dan said, his tone lecherous.

Suzy and Arin groaned at the same time, in the same tone. 

The two of them really didn’t realize how alike they were.

It made Dan smile.

* * * 

He was between Arin and Suzy on the couch, like his fantasy, and he was kissing them, kissing them with a fervor that he didn’t entirely understand, except he’d go from one mouth to the other, lipstick and facial hair getting mixed up in his head, until all of it was just a mix of stickiness, of wetness, of lips and dark eyes and light eyes and big hands and small hands, of _so_ many kisses, until he couldn’t breathe, his head spinning. 

“I wanna ride you,” Suzy said, right in Dan’s ear, “and then I want to ride Arin. I want you both to cum inside of me.”

“Oh y-yeah?” Dan licked his lips, looking her up and down. 

He was so hard already - even after the load he’d shot down Arin’s throat, apparently his body could still do what he wanted it to, when it came to sticking his dick in things. 

“How does that sound to you, babe?” Suzy looked over at Arin, and he looked amused, more than anything else.

“I could certainly find it in me to live with that,” said Arin, and he was squeezing his dick through his basketball shorts. 

“Yeah?” Suzy squeezed Dan’s cock through Dan’s jeans, and Dan moaned.

“Yeah,” said Arin, and he reached out, hooking a finger in the loop of her jeans. “You should take your pants off, though. It’d be hard to ride his dick, when he’s got nowhere to stick it.” 

“Aren’t you the romantic,” Dan said dryly, pulling his cock out and squeezing it from tip to root and back again.

“I’m plenty romantic,” Arin said, and he smiled like a cat. “I’ll prove it.”

Arin leaned forward, and he wrapped his lips around Dan’s cock, sucking on the head and flicking the tongue along the tip, then swallowing it down.

“ _Oh_ ,” Dan said thickly, trying not to thrust up into Arin’s mouth.

It was just as good this time as it had been last time, lo those many hours ago. and Dan thrust lazily up into Arin’s mouth, as Suzy leaned down, now pantsless, her hands on his shoulders, kissing him.

He kissed her back, with his tongue and his teeth, and it was funny, in a weird way, that everyone had their mouth occupied, because… because for some reason, this struck him as hilarious, and Suzy pulled away from him once he started to really laugh, looking perturbed and confused. 

“What’s so funny?”

“Three different mouthfuls,” Dan mumbled, and he was still giggling. 

“You’re _so_ weird,” Suzy said, and Arin pulled off of Dan’s cock, panting through his nose. 

“I do my best,” Dan said, breathless, as Suzy climbed into his lap, her labia soft and wet as they slid across his shaft.

He was going to need to wash this shirt.

Arin was the one who grabbed his cock, and he carefully lined it up for Suzy to slide on to.

He moaned as loudly as they did, when Suzy slid down.

Suzy had the best pussy.

Hands down.

It was slick, it was tight, it was warm, squeezing him, _milking_ him, as she draped her arms over his shoulders, her forehead against his.

“Fuck,” Dan mumbled, and then Arin was standing up behind them, and Arin was holding on to Suzy’s tits, and Dan was holding on to her hips with one hand, beginning to hump into her, his big thumb pressing against her clit. 

“Fuck,” Suzy said back, and she rolled her hips against him, her pussy still squeezing him.

He began to thrust, as Arin pushed her shirt and her bra down, pinching one nipple, and Dan pressed his face forward, nuzzling into her cleavage. 

“Oh, _god_ ,” Suzy moaned, as Arin did something with his fingers, and Dan sucked on the other nipple, taking some of the surrounding breast into his mouth as well, just the way she liked it. 

She was squeezing him, and even with his earlier orgasm, he wasn’t going to last very long.

He kept thrusting up into her, grinding her clit with his thumb, the bottom of his hand occasionally brushing against his cock.

He looked up at Arin, and those big brown eyes were staring down at him, almost feverish, Arin’s hair sticking to his face, Arin’s breath coming in slow, long pants.

“Fuck, this is… holy fuck,” Arin said, and his voice broke. 

His hips were rocking forward, grinding his cock against Suzy’s lower back.

Dan kissed Suzy, and Arin’s hand was in his hair, Arin’s hand was moving lower, to his jaw, guiding the kiss between the two of them.

It was a bit like being an action figure that two kids were smashing together, only Dan was going to cum, he was going to cum so hard inside of her, and it was going to be intense, he could already tell, this was going to be the kind of orgasm that left him limp and helpless, and Suzy was making these quiet little squealing noises every time he ground against her clit, squeezing him harder, her breath staccato. 

She came out of nowhere, tightening around him, and he was cumming too, as deep inside of her as he could, helping her ride out her orgasm with his thumb even as his cock shot itself deep inside of her, until he was flopping down, panting hard, licking his lips and shaking.

“Fuck, that… oh my fuck,” Dan mumbled, and he kissed the sweat off of her breasts, licking up the salt, as she turned her head to the side and kissed Arin.

They were his people.

Huh.

That was weird to think about, in the best way possible. 

* * * 

Suzy and Dan both gasped, when Arin actually lifted her off of Dan’s cock, and then she was leaning back against him, her legs held open by Dan’s, and Arin was crouching between her legs, pulling his own dick out. 

“There we go, fuck, you’re so much wetter,” Arin said thickly, as the head of his cock brushed against Suzy’s lips, then pressed into her head. “Fuck, Suze….”

Dan pushed her hair to the side, and began to kiss along her neck, then along her jaw, pausing to suck on her earlobe. 

She spasmed against him, and Arin moaned like he was in pain.

“Fuck, Suze, do that again.”

“Do w-what?” She was shaking, and Arin’s fingers were playing with her clit, as Dan played with her breasts. 

“That… thing.”

“I think she does it when I do this,” said Dan, and he sucked on the side of her neck again, a little harder.

“ _Oh_ ,” Suzy moaned, and her hips twitched forward.

Dan’s own cock tried to kick, then gave up, metaphorically waving a little white flag.

He began to kiss, nibble, suck, until she was beginning to hump Arin with all her might, and she was tensing up, so much so that her butt was leaving Dan’s lep, her heels no doubt digging into Arin’s lower back.

Arin came - his face turned redder, and he kissed Suzy, one hand going to Dan’s knee and squeezing it, hard enough that the skin went whiter. 

He was hilted, and he was still rubbing her clit, and then she was cumming as well, as Dan held on tightly to her, to keep her from falling, and because she was warm and soft and smelled good.

She came all over Arin’s dick, and then she slumped back, shivering, 

“Holy shit,” Dan said, a bit dazed. “I’ve never been a chair before.”

Suzy started to laugh, ugly, snorting laughter, and Arin made a surprised noise, as his cock slid out of her in a rush of goo. 

She leaned into Dan, and she opened her arms up for Arin, who came crawling into them, cuddling up to her. 

“That was fucking amazing,” Arin mumbled, and then he laughed, catching sight of Suzy’s neck. “Wow!”

“Hm?”

“You, uh… might need some cover up,” Arin said. “Dan really did a number on you.”

“Oh, shit,” Dan mumbled, and he kissed the marks, which were already starting to change from red to purple. 

“Totally worth it,” Suzy mumbled. “We’ll just have to gag Dan next time.”

“What?!”

“I like that idea,” said Arin. “We could even have it for Grump episodes!”

“ _Hey!_ ” 

“I’d take it off for the speaking bits….”

Dan groaned, burying his face in Suzy’s neck. 

It was two against one now.

He wasn’t gonna be able to win.

How did he get so lucky?


End file.
